How the Snake Slithers Secrets of the Fox
by SilverPersimmons
Summary: Ichimaru Gin inner working drabble. AiGin. Looking back on his life, seeing how he ended up where he was. Following a man he detested and respected.


In another time, another life, this would all be a dream. If Gin allowed himself to get lost in this for too long he forgot who he was. All of this white was easy to see himself in other lives. Lives he could have had. So many what ifs. What if he wasn't so young when he came to follow that man? Could he ever go back to who he was? It was all too easy to forget and almost fall into the character he created. Even easy to forget who that man was, past the fake smiles and poisoned sweetness. Gin was a snake but he was the venomous one.

Gin's veins burned with the poison that man left. An invisible mark made ages ago no one could ever see. Such a young boy had thrown himself intl the hands of something he had no idea. All for one goal. Having not a clue on what would become of him. From the start he played a role. Little did the young boy realize then that the role he put himself in would become who he really was. The act and games became true. Becoming as warped as he acted he was. Becoming everything the venomous man he devoted himself to wanted him to be.

_Your cruel device_

_Your blood, like ice_

_One look could kill_

_My pain, your thrill_

Aizen Souske was something not of this world. He could have very well been a God. He created the Ichimaru Gin everyone came to know. Still that vile man filled his head. Gin wanted to end that mans life. Every thought, every move. Nothing was done without him on his mind. But hate can't last forever. Gin didn't know when the passion he had started to fade. The lines started the blur. Hate slowly turned into something much more twisted. Something the snake couldn't escape and maybe didn't want to.

Aizen was anything but kind as he made those around him think. Every test was harsh and every lesson was burned into him. He could have acted as if he was forced into this. It would be easy enough to do. But he almost craved it. He felt alive. It made everything real. Up until the moment he met his God Gin only got by on lies and deceit. But such a man like Aizen would never allowed things like that. Maybe Gin was lucky. He was one of the few that mirrors didn't get used on.

_I want to love you but I better not touch_

_I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop_

_I want to kiss you but I want it too much_

_I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison_

Maybe that was how Gin got cocky. He had no fear going into this and he was never given any. Fear and submission never got beaten into him. Such tactics to keep the others in line were never used on him. Mirrors stayed away from him. Gin always tested his limits. Pushing the God just a little more each time. When he was a child it was almost cute. Sneaking out after dark. Tormenting the night guards. And each time he was scolded. His punishment was nothing to him. Pain was nothing.

To spend every day with someone and expect to never know them inside and out is foolish. And to expect to keep everything about oneself protect is even more foolish. Too much effort and energy to keep up such things. Everyone slipped up. Even perfection slipped. Gin could spot every slip but his own went unseen to himself. But it didn't go to waste.

_You're poison running through my veins_

_You're poison, I don't want to break these chains_

Time went by slowly. The hate faded and turned into something else so slowly it was impossible to notice. By everyone. The boy, now becoming a young man under the watchful eyes, was being molded into the perfect tool. As much as Gin knew he was being molded and thought he was playing the part, thinking he was anything but that, he was falling right for it. He slipped into the role of the person right hand man of God by trying to fool so perfectly.

Time still went on. A well groomed vice-captain. Followed behind his captain he was devoted to. There was never a realization. Only that in all the twisted mind games, nights of torment, fits and power struggles something happened. Somehow the hate that once filled his soul was turned into something that drew him to seek out his captain. The be near the vile man as much as he could. Serving under him had become a desire.

_Your mouth, so hot_

_Your web, I'm caught_

_Your skin, so wet_

_Black lace on sweat_

But it should never have happen. It was just as dark and twisted as his whole life. But it wasn't forced. Raising tension between them. It had to explode one day. A night he should have regretted. Something that never should have happen. But it did and he craved more. The attention was like a drug. Those eyes needed to be on him. And with each look and every word an image he kept in his head faded.

Staring at those white walls now it seemed to haunt him. The lives he could have had. The person he could have been. Grown as he was his mind may have been sharp but only as sharp as allowed. He could stay two steps headed if he wasn't already ten behind. At the point of no return now. The person he swore to protect and keep safe was long behind. The man he wanted to kill was here was so close. All the chances he had to end that vile creatures life. He was stopped from being able to kill him the moment he saw the venomous eyes.

Gin had no choice now. It was too late. He couldn't do what he thought he devoted himself to do. So he fooled himself just a little longer with the feeling of being alive. Fooling himself to thinking he was in control. That he wanted the man who raised him to die. Even as he forgot his whole reason for being here. Another time, another life. This would be a dream. A life he would wake up next to the one he loved every day, keeping whoever it was safe.

_Run deep inside my veins_

_Its burning deep inside my veins_

—

Companion Song:

Poison - Groove Coverage (AiGin AMV)


End file.
